The Secret Diary of Ginny Weasley, Aged 13 1/2
by Delirium Tremens
Summary: Ginny angsts at her diary. About Hermione. Warning: LESBIANS
1. Default Chapter

Rating: R  
Pairing: Ginny/Hermione  
Warning: ANGST, Spoilers for CoS  
Disclaimer: Really, Hermione WANTED to belong to me, but JK Rowling got there first. So, she belongs to her.  
CenterWhat If?/center  
Sensible black shoes swinging back and forth over the worn carpet. They're second-hand. They're hand-me-downs. They're not even supposed to be ON upstairs in the Burrow, but Ginny is, after all, Fred and George's sister. Rules were made to be broken. Mostly.  
p  
"I'm ... bored."  
p  
She looks at the green covers of her new diary. Ever mindful of the horrendous incidents of her first year at Hogwarts, she never again used a magical one. This is a muggle-made diary which she has charmed to respond to the sound of her voice only; the spell took her a month to learn, but she wasn't going to trust anyone else to do it. She is very much aware that this definitely counts as "Misuse Of Muggle Artifacts" but she's guessing that Fred and George won't tell that they bought it for her. Secrecy is something Weasleys are good at, better than they are given credit for.  
p  
"It's not just that."  
p  
She watches the words scrawl themselves into the hungry pages, trying not to remember the diary that spoke back.  
p  
"I ... can't stop thinking that way. I don't want to be different to everyone else."  
p  
She wonders if it's entirely appropriate to name this diary after the one which gave her so much trouble.  
p  
"Tom, all I wanted was to fit in. I mean, I'm a Weasley. There've been Weasleys at Hogwarts since it was founded. If anyone should fit in, it's me.  
p  
"But the first thing that happens ruins everything. And I've itried/i, Tom, I've really tried. All the other girls in my year have crushes on Harry Potter. I've got the advantage of knowing him personally; he's my brother's best friend and I istill/i can't get it right ...  
p  
"I overdid that. Didn't I?  
p  
"Anyone could guess. Anyone at all.  
p  
"The sad thing is, I know ishe/i wouldn't mind. I mean, she wouldn't pick on me, if I told her. She wouldn't ignore me. She just wouldn't be iinterested/i. I'd still just be Ginny Weasley, Ron's little sister.  
p  
"Ron's little sister who has tutorials from Hermione Granger.  
p  
"Who wants to be just like Hermione Granger.  
p  
"Who wants to ...  
p  
"But what if she finds this? What if, of all the people who could break the spells on you, Tom, and make you talk - because I know she'd be best at - it was iher/i. She would never, not intentionally, but by accident?  
p  
"Oh, Tom, what if she reads the words that aren't meant for anyone else to hear?  
p  
"What if she hates me forever for not telling her the truth, what if she's disgusted by me?"  
p  
Her legs stop swinging, and there's a new tone creeping into her voice, a tone that no-one knows, because no-one really listens to Ginny or sees her as anything more than a child; she's sure of it.  
p  
"But, Tom ... what if she's inot/i?  
p  
"What if instead of just blanking me she takes it as the excuse she's been waiting for and takes me by the hand and kisses me on the mouth as soft and strong as Butterbeer? What if she slips that smart clever tongue of hers inside my waiting jaws until I gasp back into hers? What if she likes me enough to trace new patterns across my skin with her inkstained fingers, and to let me touch the open gateway of her cunt?  
p  
"Yes, Tom, I should probably stop reading the books I find in Fred and George's room. They're teaching me bad language.  
p  
"But ...  
p  
"What if? What if I were to quicken my pace and with slow swift strokes comb the silky wetness of her insides, what if she tightened around my fingers like a human glove and made noises that I've only dreamed of? What if she breathed hard in my ear as she came and stammered a confession? What if she was to moan 'I love you' at the same time as me?"  
p  
Ginny's expression now is one which no-one is ever likely to see; her eyebrows are drawn together in a scowl but her mouth curves upwards in a predatory grin. It fades quickly enough, to be replaced by a worried, childlike rictus; the one her family and friends know so well.  
p  
"She's staying here again this summer, Tom.  
p  
"How am I going to sleep, with her breathing in the same room as me, the covers rising and falling gently over the rise of her perfect, curving body? How am I going to keep myself from the longing to reach over to her and carress her electric hair while she sleeps?  
p  
"I have to go, Tom, some-one's coming. I wish it weren't this way. I wish I could be like everyone else. I wish I was normal.  
p  
"But. What if.  
p  
"What if this iis/i normal?"pcenter  
~fin~ 


	2. Eavesdropping

Rating: PG  
Pairing: Ginny/Hermione  
Warnings: Spoilers for CoS and GoF  
Disclaimer: I'm merely borrowing Weasley and Granger and the Harry Potter universe for my own perverted requirements, from dear Ms Rowling. I wouldn't dream of claiming them as my own and hey, if you want to sue me you will get exactly 50p if you do it before lunch, and utterly nothing afterwards. I'm poor. Love me.  
centerEavesdropping/center  
The covers of the book are green and cracked. They feel oddly like skin under Hermione's fingers, even though she knows perfectly well that it is a £2.99 purchase from Ham & Sewell and unless she missed a pretty huge expose on Panorama recently, they don't make a habit of binding their diaries with anything other than cow skin.  
p  
She's a little ashamed to be doing this.  
p  
The afternoon light streams in through the tiny window of the room she is sharing with Ginny and warms the back of her legs. She wonders when the youngest Weasley will be back from her outing with her mother, and what possessed her to stay behind.  
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iCuriosity/i, her conscience whispers.  
p  
Of course, knowing that Ginny had a diary immediately set off alarm bells in her head. After the horridness of her second year she was very careful of enchanted books in generally, as the last one had led to he being Petrified for some time, and missing out on a lot of schoolwork. For the sake of the girl's own protection - iYou were curious/i, her conscience repeats, and Hermione shushes it irritably.  
p  
Breaking the voice-recognition charms had been simple enough, although she doubted anyone else from her year would have been able to manage it. Correspondance with Bill Weasley over the earlier part of the summer had left her a lot more adept at Charm-and Curse-Breaking than she had been; and she was somewhat impressed that a third-going-into-fourth-year had managed to learn such a complex charm.  
p  
She opened the book, and cleared her throat.  
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"Tesing ... this is Hermione Granger ..."  
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The words appeared in sloppy capitals. Hermione frowned, but they would have to do; at least Ginny wouldn't think she'd gone mad and dictated something herself by accident.  
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"I have to confess to something. Eavesdropping, I suppose.  
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"It was, originally, only out of concern for you. You don't need reminding of what happened last time you gave all your secrets to an enchanted diary, I'm sure; and at first I was disappointed in you, breaking the laws that your father made as though you had no more principles about that sort of thing than Fred and George.  
p  
"And then I actually listened to what you had to say.  
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"Ginny; you're not the only one who feels that way. I've been trying since day one to have friends and half the time I'm still certain Harry and Ron only talk to me so I'll help them with their homework. Ron especially. It's hard. I wanted to be just like everyone else too; much more so because I was muggle-born. I wanted to prove that I could be just as good as the rest of them even without a wizarding family.  
p  
"I don't know if I succeeded.  
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"There are other things you said ... and I understand those ... gosh, I'm going red ithinking/i about what I'm going to say. I hadn't considered, before, that your crush on Harry was play-acting, it seemed so convincing, so - Stanislavskian (oh, you probably won't know who he is, will you?) - and I just assumed that that was that.  
p  
"I assumed, wrongly it seems, that I was the only girl at Hogwarts who didn't fancy either Harry, Oliver or poor Cedric. And I thought perhaps that agreeing to go out with Krum would solve something, that it would 'fix' whatever was wrong with me. After all, not everything has a magical solution. But as you remember, I couldn't even keep my lack of interest out of my voice; I can't act like you can, Ginny.  
p  
"Reading what you said ... about what you wanted to do ... I must be ibeetroot/i coloured by now, good grief! Reading that just made things clearer for me. It's like a veil got stripped away from my eyes; you took off a Confundus Charm that has been plaguing me all my life, if you want the wizarding equivillent. I won't say the word. But it makes sense, to me, now. But what I am going to tell you is not out of gratitude or curiosity, Ginny, it is out of - well, desire, I suppose.  
p  
"All I ask is that you take your time. And I will acquiesce to the things you have written. I will repay you in kind. And somewhere along the line, we'll begin to understand just what this is. Information about myself isn't written anywhere I can research it except inside me and perhaps you can help me to read it. You know more about this than I do. Teach me."  
p  
She shuts the book with a snap, and, blushing so furiously that her face is almost purple, she slips it under Ginny's pillow before leaving the room, heading outside to catch the last of the evening sun, and to dellude herself into thinking that she can carry on with her revision after what she has confessed, and knowing what exchanges may come in the night.pcenter  
~fin~ 


End file.
